the going-ons in my head

Why is it so hard to put some words down on this page?

I have so much to say!

A lot of of it is good stuff, some of it is a bit fluffly around the edges.

Ok, here goes:

I think for the first time in my life I know what it means to be working out my salvation (Phil 2:12).

I don't know why it has taken me 24 years (yup, I got saved when I was 4) to get to this space.

I haven't gotten it all figured out like I think I had always done in the past.

I am less intersted in Christian culture.  It doesn't always translate into Jesus culture.

I can't handle the huge debate on end times and methods of baptism and denominations and names for things my brain refuses to memorise.  The truth is that as Christians we are all brothers and sisters, or does your Bible say something different?

And I am a bit of a hypocrite, I would rather love the poor, visibly broken person then the one I see on a regular, church-like basis.  I was really upset with myself when I came to this realisation.

I don't spend enough time in the Word.

Next thought:

We've spent a lot of time discussing the growth of our family.

We are not sure if we are going to have another biological child or if we are to start the ball rolling for adoption.

For both um, means of increasing our brood, we need loads more stability of the financial variety.

And if we were to go on the natural, our situation would be classed as pretty crappy. 

Ok, more like majorly crappy.

 But I am not looking at the natural and I am trusting for the children birthed in my heart.

Ok, what else?

We need a car.

Please pray for us for wisdom and God's favour.  We know that we can't go into debt, but the cold, wet weather (I love!!!) is fast appraching.

And  I am desperate to bake, but I can't find an affordable dairy-free butter alternative.

I love cookies!!!!

Um, what else?  Maybe, I am finished. 

I don't want to be.

But I am gonna say bye.

Thinking about each of you, wondering about you, hoping you are well.

I would really like to meet some of you.