a thousand blue fish

Today was Alexander's first field trip and well, my first field trip as a teacher.  We went to the Momofoku Ando Instant Ramen Museum- the birthplace of instant noodles.  With 11 little people, Alexander being the most unruly, my nerves were somewhat frayed by the time we got back to school.  Alexander has a way of fraying my nerves at the moment.  He has reached a new level of stubbornness that would frighten most mere mortals, but I am not a mere mortal, I am his mother.  The most amusing or irritating thing he has come up with is "I am happy Mom" when I have to discipline him.  Yes, Alexander, you are happy and I am happy for you, but I am more interested in how happy you will be in your future. I just know as I know that if I am not able to bend his will in the right direction he will grow up to be man that is forceful, hard and demanding. In other news, my sister's boyfriend is fine.  It turned out to be something minor, but painful.  I rea...

My darling son Alexander is always asking us to "plis ghelp."  He does it with everything.  It's not that he can't do it alone he just doesn't want to. Alexander is an electrical storm type child.  He is so sweet and loving, but he has the tendency to get so worked up over the littlest things.  His moods can be treacherous (NO to refined sugar!!!!) and he is only able to calm down if we remain absolutely calm throughout.  So when he asks me to "plis ghelp" him drinking his juice first thing in the morning I'll do it. (On the juice:  we juice veggies and fruit every morning.  This way we know that they will get in good nutrients even if they're not interested in eating much the rest of the day.) This morning as I did this God just highlighted that Alexander does not like drinking the juice, but he this does by asking for help.  And I think God was pointing out that we need to learn to ask for help when we find ourselves in tough times or sit...

I was so scared of being mommy to a little girl.  Beatrice you have so changed my heart,  you are a precious, bubbly sparkly little girl.

When I first became a mother I was overjoyed with my bundle.  I adored him and most aspects of motherhood, but lets be honest nothing grossed me out more than runny noses or 'oopsies' after feeds.  As much as I loved Alexander he was kept at a distance until he was properly wiped.  This squeamishness comes from being repulsed by wet tissues, vommitting children when I baby sat as a teenager, the way chicken skin gets soft when boiled, soggy biscuits, bad smells, etc.  The list is really extensive.  I am very well brought up though, so few people will ever witness my gag reflex. And then came baba number 2 With Alexander I was constantly worried about so many unnecessary things, but when Beatrice popped out and my milk was not sustaining her she went on formula.  It was that simple.  Something in me changed.  And so the morning I left for my first day at my temporary receptionists job, dried snot, the slimy kind, had to be wiped off my ca...

At home before our trip to Home Affairs Rebbeca our ...pay for your parking lady The wonderful people at Home Affairs I am sure you are all wondering just how exciting the experience was.  Well, to be completely honest the only negative part our time there was our beautiful boy child.  Alexander is really testing our patience. Parenting note:  Consistency is the most important thing about discipline.   Please add Rebecca to the list of prayer needs.  She is a Zimbabwean who is desperate to for a job that will provide more for her family.  The job she earns now is commission based and she happens to be in the slowest area.   I was just so aware of her mother's heart and her willingness to do anything.  Please pray for her.   And I want to encourage you wherever you are, pray for your government and honour them.  I really know and believe that if we are faithful in lifting up our countries to God He wil...

my morning of went a bit like this: i had a mushy brain couldn't write much, but i felt like a new person by the time i saw my husband and my littlies my husband felt like he'd had real time with our children who behaved like angels these are some of the pics he took of them so the final thoughton the matter i am going to fave a morning to myself once a week! yeah!!! 

Awhile ago my mom called to say she couldn't find my little sister. My heart sank. After I'd given her the appropriate amount of time I called her to see if she'd found her and she had. During that phone call my son had halled down my little sister's treasure chest, handbag.  Inside, amongst all sorts of wierd an wonderful stuff, he'd found her clear glitter, nail varnish.  Some quick background, at Alexander's school is a gorgeous dressing table with fake makeup bottles and other such fun. All the little boys love the dressing table.  Back to the story: as my mom is calming my nerves about my sister I hear my son crying hysterically.  I rush over to him, not sure what has happened.  As I'm looking over him I find glitter on his eyelids and realise my son HAS NAIL VARNISH IN HIS EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my son moved around so much while I tried desperately to get the varnish out that I managed to bump his...

I recently made an observation (by way of a comment from my mom) of my life.  I have changed.  I have grown.  I have blossomed.  And it would not have happened if life had not been so grossly uncomfortable for the last bunch of years. Hindsight really is a gift.  I was able to look back, ok maybe for the first time in many months, and see the thread weaving through.  I can see why one door closed and how another opened and how, while one path crumbled (think Indiana Jones type path crumbling), a new one appeared.  (So wierd, but my brain is seeing this in video game format.)   I can see that my heart broken, body rocking crying was not for nothing.  I've started to feel life pumping through my veins.  Please don't get me wrong, and think that I was unhappy being a wife and mother, this is something I was made to be.  But something was missing in me. One of things I have realised is that my ...

I like writing in the centre aligned way, I think it adds character to the overall  look of my blog. And I love my blog, so I get really sad when I don't get to write. And its Friday. It is the end of a week, yeah to that. God is birthing something, and it feels like the trauma of the last couple of years may actually be coming to an end. Ok, maybe not trauma, but extreme discomfort. And I find being Alexander's mum tiring. He is strong willed and determined and agressive much of the time. I love hime to bits. I wouldn't swap him or anything, I just want to be sure I raise him to be a gorgeous human being. I want to be sure that in all the screaming (from him) and terrorising (again him) I don't do anything that would break him. My defender-of-mankind needs to be guided and directed And sometimes I'm not sure I know how. How do I teach him to love and listen to God if I can't teach him to listen to me??? And then there is Beatrice. She is so sweet, but so a...

Yeah and wow.  We have a gorgeous enormous, loud, gusty, wind blowing storm after a hot day.  i love the change in weather and I love freak weather.  That being said I don't love the loss of life or possession.  It just blows my mind that God-engineered weather can be so explosive at times.   Emiel says I am a bit of a nautral disasters kind of gal.  SO you may be wondering how The Challenge has been going.  Well  until a little while ago it wasn't.  Since being grossly sick, my sweet-natured Bea also got sick.  I was so mad at myself, but I don't think there was anything I could have really done.  She had a fever the whole day yesterday, but still maintained just the most lovely nature.  This child is something amazing. The gorgeous storm outside has stopped but it was replaced with a storm of another kind (no the storm wasn't as quick as all that, but mommy was called on duty as daddy is surf coaching).  To...

First thigns first, i' ve noticed all the gorgeous blogs seem to have loads of pictures. I even read tips on one suggesting less wording. I like the more visual idea but losing words, not happening. Todays post will be exculisively words because I'm posting it from my husbands phone. Yes the phone can take picture, but even I have no interest in looking at grainy photo's not intended for that size. One thing about having kids is that your life and time is not yours, at least while they're little and awake. I have had some crazy afternoons where even the human need of spending a penny (trying to work out the best way to say that) loses it's importance. So yesterday came and I was soooo excited to be getting dressed for husband and going out to a friend's birthday at grown-up place. I'd even painted my nails. Everything was mostly going well until I started having the worst tummy ache. Then for some strange reason I had ringing in my ears and pound...

Yesterday was Alexander the gorgeous' first day of playschool. I had no expectation of him thinking it amazing or even wanting to be there.  My little guy is not that into socializing with other kiddies of his age.  That is the only reason on earth that we would ever consider him starting school before turning 2.   This is what his first day looked like.   School started at 9:00 and ended at 11:00 and for the entire time my beloved child played by himself.   That being said he enjoyed most of the activites offered.  What is glaringly obvious is that my child is so like me.  I am as happy as can be in my world with my husband and my children.   When I go to birthday parties or teas I tend to draw away.  I sit by myself until someone thinks I'm looking lonely and comes to sit and talk to me. I am more than likely too intense, or I take way to long to explain something and the person scuttles off to find lighter convers...

Today started out so badly.  We had been waiting for a phone call.  The phone call would have been to say that Emiel can start working at a school we've been involved with.  The longer we waited the more fear rose up in me.  I am in this place where I am really not sure we've made the right decisions.  That being said it could just be how uncomfortable our situation has become.  The small things are obvious but the bigger ones seem elusive.  What is supposed to happen for an income?  Big question for most people.  I know God is in control and I know that if I seek His Kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33) things like money He'll take care of.  Man I'm being a baby.  I am sitting here typing and my chest is closing up and I want to cry big salty cathartic tears. This morning my chest was so tight I thought I might die. I don't like fear.  When I moved back in with my parent's after my time at fashion...