a thousand blue fish

I have just eaten way too much.  My tummy is feeling that yuck feeling and I am tired.  The tiredness is not because of my stuffed tummy but life.  The saying is that change is as good as a holiday, I need change.  I need more than just change, I need positive change.  Maybe I need to change.   I need to learn how to laugh.  I need to learn how to not be insecure.  Did I mention I am tired?  Tired means raw nerves, means more emotional than I should be. Mothering is not for wimps.  I am finished, frustrated and overwhelmed.  And being a wife is well, iron sharpening iron.   I have to learn how to dream.  I have forgotten, financial issues do that.  Monkeys I am in a mood.  So goodnight.  Philippa (I wish I could blog more.)  Aagh!!!!!! 

I am so exhausted.  I am physically, mentally, spiritually at my end.  I woke up to a sore eye.  Apparently there are lots of nerve things situated around the eye.  Stress sometimes causes things to behave badly.  Great! I love my life.  Its just that there are so many things not running the direction I'd thought they'd run.  And then the heat (we have had really hot weather, that will last until end Feb/March), my sunny-ish disposition is just not so sunny when its too sunny. Sore eye progressed to rip roaring fight with my beloved husband.  It wasn't a nice fight.  I said some very nasty things and behaved in a most revolting manner.  I remember a ridiculous thing mean teachers used to say, 'you are working on my last nerve.'  Today I understand it.  My last nerve got worked on.  My babies don't like being hot, so they were not too happy today.  Then my darl...