a thousand blue fish

I woke up this morning to a smell I couldn’t quite place.   It was a manly smell that I haven’t smelt in a month as my husband has been participating in Movember.   Before I’d even had time to put my glasses on (which means my seeing eyes are not seeing much) he’d handed me a stone shaped like a heart with the most perfect hole in it.  I kissed him and wished him happy anniversary.  At this point he jumped out of bed and grabbed a small black and gold bag out of his cupboard.  Inside the bag was a box and inside the box was the most beautiful, thoughtful present I could ever had hoped for.  Emiel had, in the last couple of weeks, found a coin from Swaziland. He had taken the coin and had it put on a silver chain… for me.  Swaziland is my heart place, my safe place if ever a physical place could be that.  We went there for a few days on our honeymoon because I wanted so badly to show the man I loved the place I loved.  And it was a...

This is the list that I mentioned before, the one about the kinda guy I wanted.  As I'd previously stated God gave me many of the points I'd asked for and in His infinite wisdom dumped some some of the stupid ones. Some of the points I wanted in my future husband were things lacking in my character.  I grew in the time it took writing this to the time I met Emiel. Bare with me a bit, some of the stuff may seem odd, but I was 20/21. (Wow, I'm old!) 1.reborn Christian (same place as me would be great) 2. major family person 3.adores children 4.absolutely no drugs 5.has (or still does) smoke (Styvie Blue) (I am a smoker who no longer smokes.  I still crave cigarrettes every day!) 6.drinks moderately (My love can drink but one glass of wine and then he giggles like a little girl) 7.intelligent 8.creative 9.wise 10.charasmatic 11.kind 12.gentle 13.funny (as I would be amused) (bah, ha, ha my husband's sense of humour is on another level to my dry non-existent sense...

I recently made an observation (by way of a comment from my mom) of my life.  I have changed.  I have grown.  I have blossomed.  And it would not have happened if life had not been so grossly uncomfortable for the last bunch of years. Hindsight really is a gift.  I was able to look back, ok maybe for the first time in many months, and see the thread weaving through.  I can see why one door closed and how another opened and how, while one path crumbled (think Indiana Jones type path crumbling), a new one appeared.  (So wierd, but my brain is seeing this in video game format.)   I can see that my heart broken, body rocking crying was not for nothing.  I've started to feel life pumping through my veins.  Please don't get me wrong, and think that I was unhappy being a wife and mother, this is something I was made to be.  But something was missing in me. One of things I have realised is that my ...

Have you ever noticed that couple that is going at each other in a supermarket?   You can't imagine how the fresh produce could have caused such upset, but their heated debate adds colour to your otherwise mundane shopping experience.  And truth be told it doesn't matter that you were raised not to stare (especially with your mouth hanging open), you can't help yourself but gawk.  Today just before 12:00 Emiel and I were that couple having the spat in the grossest smelling shop in our town.  -Break in thought, but how can you allow your store to sell like sour milk?????? And why was I shopping there????- We were trying to work out what to feed our son and discussing discipline and I didn't realise it was so obvious until out of the corner of my eye I saw a bunch of ladies waiting in line for the till and they were staring!!!  I told Emiel how much I hated spatting (ok, fighting) in public and that peo...