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Blah is a word, go Google it

"A long December, and there's reason to believe
  Maybe this year will
be better than the last" A Long December (Counting Crows)
So maybe December wasn't that long, and I guess the way December is used doesn't really apply to us as we have long hot December's not cold ones, but I really was hoping this year would be better then last year.

I am in a very fragile place, yet another door has closed and it seems as though we are in trouble for not doing the things expected of us properly.  But for the point of not continuing down the really dark road that it seems I am taking I am going to tell you about the things that make me happy.

  • My husband.  I didn't think I would ever get the guy I thougt was good looking and at one point I was preparing myself to become a nun.  My man is my safe place.   I love Emiel more than words can explain and I am so grateful for him in my life.
  • My children.  It is the most amazing privilege (just googled the spelling of that word) to watch my children grow up.  Even in the hard times and the battles being a mom is something else.  I was feeling so blah (I like that word) earlier when sitting with Beatrice.  I'd given her half her bottle and put her on her tummy to move a bit.  Beatrice got up onto her 4's and started rocking backwards and forwards and then throwing herself forward.  It was so gorgeous.  She thought she was very clever and would look at me and smile her big gummy smile that squishes up her face and turns her into a chinaman.  I musn't forget to mention that Alexander is doing so well at his playgschool.  He is happy to let me leave him for a short time.  And he even participated!!!!!  WOW!!!!
  • My family.  I love my family.  We have been through soooooooo much and we don't always get along, but they are mine and I wouldn't change them.
  • Food.  I love yummy food!  I love sushi!  I love Mexican!  I love Italian!  I love Asian and Indian (I know that is classified as Asia but Indian food is not like Chinese or Thai)! I love making food and experimenting.  Every now and again I want to be a chef and then I change my mind.
  • Books.  Reading is life changing.  Ever since I was a little girl I have read whatever I could get my hands on.
  • Music.  Need I say more?
  • Gardening.  There is something freeing in justing with your hands in the dirt. 
  • Non-dairy.  I am so happy that I don't do dairy.  Wierd!
  • The Style Network and Food Network and BBC Lifestyle.
  • Adventure. 
Man, my eyes are watering.  This is really lame.
  • Blogging.  I love the freedom to write.  And I am sorry that this has been so miserable, but it helping me.
  • Painting stuff, not necessarily pictures.  I love the feeling of paint on my hands and under my nails and on my clothes.  Love it!
  • Learning new things.  There is so much I don't know and it is amazing getting to learn new things. 
  • Google.  Just input a word and out pops a world of info.  So cool.
  • Coffee.  Yeah  for the coffee bean! 
  • Chocolate.  Yeah for the cocao bean!
  • Avocado!
  • Nuts!
  • Screaming aahh!!! 
I am going home.  No internet, but our phone has internet so I might just come and type a bit more later. 
Thank you for reading, that makes me happy. 

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