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marital spats in supermarkets

Have you ever noticed that couple that is going at each other in a supermarket?   You can't imagine how the fresh produce could have caused such upset, but their heated debate adds colour to your otherwise mundane shopping experience.  And truth be told it doesn't matter that you were raised not to stare (especially with your mouth hanging open), you can't help yourself but gawk. 

Today just before 12:00 Emiel and I were that couple having the spat in the grossest smelling shop in our town.  -Break in thought, but how can you allow your store to sell like sour milk?????? And why was I shopping there????- We were trying to work out what to feed our son and discussing discipline and I didn't realise it was so obvious until out of the corner of my eye I saw a bunch of ladies waiting in line for the till and they were staring!!!  I told Emiel how much I hated spatting (ok, fighting) in public and that people were in fact looking (he has always thought we have some invisibilty cloak) so I turned to stare straight at the ladies.  I shouldn't think it funny as I was very naughty, but it took them so long to register and when they did, boy did they get a shock!

Contrary to popular belief I don't like fighting in public.  It irks every fibre of my being to be caught in "reality" like that.  But it irks me also to think like that.  I think we have a bit of a wrong perception that Christian marriages are perfect or that by hiding the issues we benefit those around us.  I really hate the idea that anyone enters marriage thinking it is going to be a bed of roses or that it is easy; I feel the same way about people getting saved.  I would rather they knew what it was really like and made decisions prayerfully and with much thought.  Marriage can be the hardest place.  It is a lot about iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17) when two people live so closely together.  And what the one experiences the other gets to be a part of.  But it can also be so beautiful!  And sometimes the reality is that it is just routine.  While we may have had our public spat today the rest of the time people see us we are laughing, or I am crying (because of who knows what), or we are flirting with each other.  Sometimes when people see us we walk in silence contemplating what the other has just said.  And other times we're just trying to calmly get through whatever it is while our son screams hysterically for no reason

grainy camera phone: don't you love the tape onthe bridge of my glasses?

grainy camera phone: we look good together don't ya think?

not so grainy camer phone: before the glasses broke

I love Emiel with everything in me.  And I would choose my married life over my single life any day of the week.  So when I have a marrital spat in public it doesn't mean my marriage is crumbling, it might just mean I have bad manners and have not considered the people around me.  I think marital, or any relational spats are a little selfish, a little me wanting to express my unhappiness or you being wrong and who cares who sees (again there are no invisibility cloaks!).

Ok, those are my thoughts for this post.

Hope it is well with you
Philippa
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