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I am so tired and I am sure I am going to be called away before I even get to write what is on my heart.

Today has not been the greatest.  It has been twilight-zone-ish.  We are in this really intense place in our lives and because everything is moving so quickly a slow day feels even slower.  

And my heart is really quite sore.  After our big walk  Emiel and I watched the movie The Bang Bang Club.  Oh, my goodness.  I have always been so against Apartheid and for years actually felt embarrassed for being white.  I was horrified watching this movie, that I know so little about the struggles in my beloved South Africa.  I felt mortified by the human depravity and the brokenness.  And it strengthened my resolve to live the way Christ did on this earth.  I want to love as he did.   I want to treat people with respect and see the Christ in them.

While we watched the movie my mom phoned to let me know that a guy from our previous church had died tragically in a motorbike accident.  I didn't know this man well, but I know that for so long I judged his Christianity.  He was too fun, laughed too freely, didn't seem to follow the same rules I thought I was supposed to follow.  And then after not having seen him for something like a year I saw him at that worship event.  It really hit me hard.  This man had a wife and two little children and a church family that loved him.  And then I saw all of the tributes poured out of people's hearts onto their Facebook statuses and I was blown away.    The testimony and legacy of  this man is incredible.   He reflected that side of God that is life and joy and freedom!

God moves in a way we will never be able to predict or fully understand.  He does things and allows things that sometimes freak me out.  There are so many questions of how and why that could be asked, but I don't feel the need to ask them.  I don't know how or why but I have such peace that God will turn all things to the good for those that are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:28).

And then today God did something amazing.  A friend of my brother's, who we have not spoken to in a very long time, gave R10 000 towards our trip.  I must tell you the amount is overwhelming but it is the giver that speaks so much more of God being in control.  We are so grateful.

Lord I love you.

Please pray for that family, church family and friends who are brokenhearted.  Please pray for my country.  Please also pray for all the people who have supported us, that God would move mightily in their lives.

Much love


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