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4 Years of marriage

I woke up this morning to a smell I couldn’t quite place.   It was a manly smell that I haven’t smelt in a month as my husband has been participating in Movember.   Before I’d even had time to put my glasses on (which means my seeing eyes are not seeing much) he’d handed me a stone shaped like a heart with the most perfect hole in it.  I kissed him and wished him happy anniversary.  At this point he jumped out of bed and grabbed a small black and gold bag out of his cupboard.  Inside the bag was a box and inside the box was the most beautiful, thoughtful present I could ever had hoped for.  Emiel had, in the last couple of weeks, found a coin from Swaziland. He had taken the coin and had it put on a silver chain… for me.  Swaziland is my heart place, my safe place if ever a physical place could be that.  We went there for a few days on our honeymoon because I wanted so badly to show the man I loved the place I loved.  And it was as if Swaziland was on display just for this introduction.  Emiel has been before for missions, but he did not know it the way I did, the way someone can only know a place because of a lifelong connection.  I know God led my husband in his gift.  The coin he found “by mistake” is one from our honeymoon, dated 2007, the year we got married. 

This thoughtful gift is reflective of how our marriage has grown and how we have grown and matured in it. It reflects a restoration and God's graciousness.  It also is reflective of a commitment to keep working at it.  Our fist year of marriage was a breeze, except we were poor because of really bad stewardship.  Our second year saw the birth of our son and the beginning of the unraveling.  While it didn't, at the time, look like it had anything to do with our marriage, God uses all things... I am not saying that God wants us to go through bad things.  What God wants is that we grow, He wants beauty for ashes and us to shine His love.  God wants great marriages.  For us it meant dealing with all the muck we had allowed and the things we hadn't yet dealt with.  The beginning of last year (3rd year) saw us coming very close to calling it quits.  I was pregnant with Beatrice and God revealed cracked foundations and a lack of unity.  I am rather going to get Emiel to write a post explaining the situation as it was something that was being worked out in him.  (I also know that God has gifted Emiel through this and other circumstances with the ability to teach other men how to find and value freedom.)  At the same I was learning to pray for my husband.  It was a very hard, very dark time.  As a wife you go through all the heartache and the lesson your husband is learning.  The only way I can think to illustrate it is: secondhand smoke.  Now I am grateful for that time.  We are stronger.  Our love for each other has matured.  There is laughter.  

I woke up this morning to a man whose presence I crave. He is my best friend and my lover.  He makes me weak at the knees.  I woke up to this beautiful life that I am so grateful for!  

Much love

Really if you need prayer send me an e-mail.   


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