Skip to main content

"I am happy Mom"

Today was Alexander's first field trip and well, my first field trip as a teacher.  We went to the Momofoku Ando Instant Ramen Museum- the birthplace of instant noodles.  With 11 little people, Alexander being the most unruly, my nerves were somewhat frayed by the time we got back to school.  Alexander has a way of fraying my nerves at the moment.  He has reached a new level of stubbornness that would frighten most mere mortals, but I am not a mere mortal, I am his mother.  The most amusing or irritating thing he has come up with is "I am happy Mom" when I have to discipline him.  Yes, Alexander, you are happy and I am happy for you, but I am more interested in how happy you will be in your future. I just know as I know that if I am not able to bend his will in the right direction he will grow up to be man that is forceful, hard and demanding.

In other news, my sister's boyfriend is fine.  It turned out to be something minor, but painful.  I really miss home when I think about my family, but I know that for my family I need to be away.  It might not make sense, but it is something.

I am really desperate for my own food.  It is way too easy to eat everything that I don't really want for my family.  Fruit and vegetables are also super expensive and I have yet to to master anything gluten free here.  I have had too many flops to mention.  If you want to pray for something for us I'd like a convection oven-microwave.

Ok what else... it is my birthday in 9 days and I am super excited!  Which very unlike me I seem to remember actually writing the most miserable post on my birthday last year.  Alexander and I are having a combined birthday thing at an aquarium in Osaka.  I think it is the second biggest in the world.  Woohoo!

And we are trusting for a miracle.  Please trust with us.  I know its kinda pie in the sky to do that, but I don't feel now is the time to blast it out to the world.  

Much love to you all and if I can pray for anything please let me know.  And I just want to say thank you to all you my friends,  your comments, prayer and support as been felt and so deeply appreciated.







Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you for commenting, I really love hearing from you

Popular posts from this blog

Longing for Winter

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." — E.E. Cummings  "Unbeing dead isn't being alive." — E.E. Cummings "We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit." — E.E. Cummings   I had not intended to start with anything like the above quotes, but aren't they amazing?  What I had wanted was to find a poem about winter.  In the spider-webbed, cardboard-boxed-up mind of mine I remember something and I decided it was e.e.cummings but even though the internet is oh wow! I can't find it. Or maybe it's the dust.   My husband needs all of the credit for this post.  We discuss our life continuously.  We look at the good and the bad, what we are doing right and what is going horribly wrong....
6 comments
Read more

Hope and Mercedes Benz's

So my weekend went like this: My hope is not what it should be, hoplessness is starting to creep in Emiel leaves for camp I watch a stupid movie and feel scared My hope fades just a bit more I do my very best to keep my little people happy and content while their daddy is away Alexander is really not happy his daddy is away My hope continues fading I have plans to go my parents for Saturday Phone my dad who says my mom has had another allergic reaction to a medication I end up trying to clean and leave later then expected Get a text message from my dad saying I need to get there He needs to go out and my mom doesn't want to be left alone Suddenly it dawns on me that this reaction is quite serious My hope is fading fast I arrive at my parents' house with the littlies in tow I rush to my mom who has been trying to sleep She asks if her eyes are red Her face is swollen This is the third reaction And this time it was to Paracetamol (one of the components in the other meds) My mom...
2 comments
Read more

Grief

I have started without finishing more posts than I can count.  I have and still do find it very difficult to put down the words that will most likely open the sluice gates I am not sure I am willing to open.   We were living in Japan when we received the phone call from my mother telling me that my father had chosen to take his life.  My mother felt it necessary to tell me before I read it on Facebook.   I don't want to talk about suicide now or how damn angry I am with him, I will at some stage, I need to share what life is like for those left behind.  I do want to talk about how grief is like the scene of a train wreck.   For years I had prided myself in my ability to self-evaluate.  I new I was insecure, or if I had treated someone unkindly.  I was able to prejudge my emotions and navigate them before they caused damage.  I have always been deep, but I had moved clear of the precipice leading to despair.   Grief comes l...
Post a Comment
Read more