On the 31 January 2001 I wrote this in some journal type thing:
“I am so full of dreams and desires for my life. I can’t make out what anyone points to and I find that a bit scary. I know for sure there are many things I want to accomplish but I can’t find the specific, right thing. I want to help people. I want to learn different languages and tap my talents. I want to learn to dance and to cook and take art lessons. I want to be known. I want passion, I want adventure.
I want culture and history and sometimes, I’ll want stability. I want to experience life. I want to be a teacher. I want the right the wrongs. I want to kick some druggie butts and put kids in their places. I want a house with a swimming pool. There must be trees and I’ll grow herbs and flowers. I want a husband who is like me, but at the same time very different. He must be hard working, honest, intelligent, artistic and gentle. He must be passionate about God, people, our children and me. I want children who love God and life. I want friends and a social life. I want to see the world. I want to write a book. I want to communicate better. I want to always be relaxed. I want clothes and I want money. I want to learn to make chocolate. I want to hear God’s voice, really experience Him. I want to write poetry. I want to always feel the way certain songs make me feel. I want to be compassionate, caring and perseverant. I want to learn how to play guitar once and for all. I want to learn how to speak my mind and not lose my cool. I want my family always to be safe, loved and happy.”
I wrote this when I was two weeks away from my18th birthday.
I decided to post this as a beginning of something new, the next step. You'll have to watch to see what happens.
Much love Philippa