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Entry 1

Ok, first things first, I have never done this, but have always wanted to, more I think for the level of it being something I don't know, 'cause I'm not the most faithul journal keeper. I am at this point over-tired and I have a headache, because I am over-tired.

In the last 2 months my life has done some amazing changing. I've met the man I am going to marry and have children with and I 've made a new life-course decision. It is actually quite terrifying when I let myself sit and think about it, not the new life-course, the man. I love him desperately. I think the overwhelming thing is that all of a sudden I've got to that place. I'm 23 and I haven't always made the best decisions. I live with my mom and dad because I feel safe here. When I lived alone (semi-useless housemate who I treated really badly) I was so out of hand. I spent a year living in a black cloud, death seemed the most exciting option. I was trying to hide from the only real thing in my life, God. Moving back with my parent's made it easier to stop getting trashed 5nights a week which made it easier to stop hiding, not that one can ever hide. So now I'm in this place, I have love and the freedom to make choices and I have the opportunity to live. And sometimes it's a bit overwhelming.

Ok, end of entry 1. To be honest, I have nothing to say, I wish I did it would make the time go faster-I'm waiting for my man.

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