a thousand blue fish

Last night we lost Alexander while shopping.  We'd actually gone to look for a blanket for bicycle rides and he was really excited.  We'd also allowed him to walk beside us not attached to us.  Being 2 he abused this privilege and bolted.  I don't know why we took so long to register that we couldn't see him or why nobody paid us any attention when we started screaming his name.  Last night I'm sure I became the crazy gajin (foreigner) ranting.  Imagine the scene: I'm dressed like a ... I don't know-someone who didn't go to fashion school... and my eyes are already red and swollen from crying (another tale for another time.)  Bebe calmly perched on my hip, didn't even peep.  Emiel had the sense to remember that Alexander had wanted to go downstairs and went to look for him.  Alexander had taken himself down the escalators (I hated the stupid moving stairs before now I have even more yucky emotion towards them).  A woman on the basement ...

On Friday we became bicycle people and joined the masses of other bicycle people in Japan.  The bicycles were a gift from the mother of a child in my class.  She also goes to the church we go to.  She was so sweet about it and so used by God.  You see that morning as I'd walked to school I'd told my Daddy God that birthdays have away of making me sad.  I got a bit disappointed when I found out my birthday and Alexander's wasn't go to be going the way we'd planned. My last year behavior would have had me sulking and moaning and just generally a big old emotional wreck.  (I know why, and I'm working on it.) But on that Friday morning I told my Daddy God that I know He loves me and that He knows me and that I was going to sort my attitude out.  This was while I was rushing to school after waking up late.  I was also carrying Alexander who was cold and his leg was sore and he couldn't walk and I don't know what else that only happens when walking to o...

Today was Alexander's first field trip and well, my first field trip as a teacher.  We went to the Momofoku Ando Instant Ramen Museum- the birthplace of instant noodles.  With 11 little people, Alexander being the most unruly, my nerves were somewhat frayed by the time we got back to school.  Alexander has a way of fraying my nerves at the moment.  He has reached a new level of stubbornness that would frighten most mere mortals, but I am not a mere mortal, I am his mother.  The most amusing or irritating thing he has come up with is "I am happy Mom" when I have to discipline him.  Yes, Alexander, you are happy and I am happy for you, but I am more interested in how happy you will be in your future. I just know as I know that if I am not able to bend his will in the right direction he will grow up to be man that is forceful, hard and demanding. In other news, my sister's boyfriend is fine.  It turned out to be something minor, but painful.  I rea...

We have been in Japan for a month now.  It has been exciting and awe inspiring, but today more than anything I have wanted to be home.  I am typing this at our croc computer with tears streaming and my nose running.  I have felt more fragile today than all the fragile days combined.  Just before I left for work this morning I checked Facebook and found a message from my sister to please pray for her boyfriend.  He is really sick.  As I read her message I felt all my resolve come shattering down.  I am the eldest child.  I am the big sister and for so long it has been my ...I have no words.  I managed to smile through the day. But the minute I could I felt my eyes stinging.  I want to be with my sister and her daughter.  I want to go and visit her boyfriend and tell him we love him and are praying for him. I know God has led us here and I know that He will comfort better than I could. Please pray for my sister, her boy...