a thousand blue fish

When I was a student I used to write poetry, dark, meaningful poetry. I was also in a depressive state and drunk much of the time. For some reason it has always been easier to write in that state then to write in this one. Sad as I am I have this sense that I am supposed to write. I think maybe i have taken so long to discover and pursue the blog thing, because I've been scared I couldn't write without some kind of dark inspiration. But I want to write, so I will write choosing new inspiration, like my redemption, my husband, my children, family, our future. I was going to write about beautiful things, but we are almost home and I need to finish.

It is almost Christmas! We have managed to find presents for all our family and have managed to eat up most of our money for January! My darling husband informed me this morning, when he happily checked his balance, that we will be starting the new year off rather shakily. This brought great dissapointment, and a smiggen of fear. For the last couple of months we have made a huge effort to be good stewards of what we have. We have lived by the tightest of budgets, our babies have had nappies, Beatrice has had formula and we've managed to buy the interesting, expensive stuff Alexander seems to need food-wise. We have also managed to buy toiletries and a DVD contract, oh, and pay our phone contract, and whatever doctors bills we may have needed to pay. We didn't really have much left for food for the entire month, but we always seemed to make without having to resort to gross yuck stuff like frozen veggies (except for peas and corn, they're not gross). I somehow stll get to ea...